Understanding ADHD and Neurodivergence in Motherhood - Featuring Rachel Howe.
- Hannah Jade Willsmore
- Nov 26
- 5 min read
Welcome back to the blog! Today’s post was adapted from a special podcast episode where I interviewed Rachel Howe, a neuro affirming mental health occupational therapist who supports women, mothers, and babies as they navigate the transition to motherhood. Rachel’s practice, Belonging in Motherhood, focuses on supporting for women all across Australia, helping them find balance, re-establish their identity, and support their neuro type in motherhood.
This topic is close to my heart. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, and I’m passionate about supporting families navigating ADHD, autism, and sensory challenges - especially in the context of breastfeeding, parenting, and caring for little ones.
My Journey to an ADHD Diagnosis
I first started wondering about ADHD roughly 18 months into postpartum. The challenges—like forgetfulness, needing multiple to-do lists, being messy or disorganised, and struggles with my eating patterns had always existed but seemed amplified after becoming a mother. As a kid and teenager, I was often teased for my messy room, and I always had elaborate systems to avoid forgetting things. These issues intensified when I became a mum because the mental load skyrocketed: feeding schedules, development milestones, GP appointments, packing the nappy bag, and so much more.
For months I wondered, "Why now? Why is this suddenly so overwhelming?" I learned, thanks to Rachel’s work, that ADHD doesn’t suddenly develop; it’s lifelong, but motherhood often makes the struggles more prominent.
Eventually, I pursued a formal ADHD assessment with a psychiatrist, which felt validating and life-changing. For the first time, I understood that my brain simply worked differently.
If my story helps even one person feel less alone, supported, or confident to seek help, it’s worth sharing.
Interview with Rachel Howe: Occupational Therapy and Neurodivergence in Motherhood
Q: What do you do as a perinatal OT?
As a perinatal OT, I support women through pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period - some of the most transformative and often overwhelming seasons of life. My role is about helping women feel grounded, capable, supported, and understood, particularly in how their mind and body work during this time.
I aim to bridge the gap between mental health and the messy realities of motherhood. This can mean emotional regulation, managing anxiety or overwhelm, building routines that match energy and neurotype, handling sensory sensitivities, supporting bonding with baby, processing trauma, and preparing for birth and postpartum. My approach is holistic: looking at the whole woman, her nervous system, sensory needs, cognitive patterns, relationships, environment, and the stories she tells herself about her experience. Above all, I want my support to feel doable, gentle, and validating.
Q: How did you focus your practice on neurodivergence?
It was a combination of my own lived experience (as an ADHDer myself) and what I saw clinically. So many mums felt they were failing, but were actually unsupported neurodivergent mothers. Their struggles were often dismissed as “baby brain,” sleep deprivation, or anxiety - just normal postpartum stuff. But they were facing challenges beyond what’s typical. When I started screening for ADHD and autism more intentionally, I realised how many women were undiagnosed or late-diagnosed, and how much that impacted their journey into motherhood. Being able to relate personally made it clear this is where I belonged.
Q: Why do ADHD and autism traits often become apparent in postpartum?
There are several reasons. First, the masking women have relied on throughout life (compensating, over-performing, people-pleasing, perfectionism) begins to break down because motherhood removes the structures (like work or routines) that made masking possible. The mental and sensory load of caring for a baby can exceed capacity.
Massive hormone shifts - especially dipping estrogen - impact dopamine, which is already challenging for ADHD brains. Sensory demands (touch, noise, tiredness) intensify. Identity shifts in motherhood prompt introspection; women start noticing patterns and coping styles that may signal neurodivergence. Historically, girls and women are under-diagnosed because diagnostic criteria were developed around male presentations. So, postpartum can push women past the point of "just coping" and force them to seek answers.
Q: What is masking?
Masking is how we “cover up” struggles by presenting an acceptable version of ourselves - high-achieving, organised, people-pleasing etc - while hiding internal difficulties. Women, especially neurodivergent, are experts at masking. It starts young and becomes habitual. When the demands of motherhood make masking impossible, the differences stand out more, and it's exhausting.
Q: Sensory Overload and the Mental Load
Motherhood and parenting bring unpredictable demands, increased sensory stimulation (from feeding, holding, and soothing baby), and more mental load. Neurodivergent women may find these especially challenging. Common struggles include emotional intensity, sensory overload, difficulty settling down after overstimulation, executive function challenges (routines, scheduling, household tasks), decision fatigue, perfectionism, rejection sensitivity, difficulty with unpredictable schedules, and feeling out of sync with other mums.
It's important to remember these are neurobiological patterns interacting with a demanding life stage. If you’re finding typical advice or strategies aren’t helping, and the challenges aren’t new but have been lifelong (just intensified), it might be worth exploring neurodivergence.
Seeking Support and Diagnosis
If you think you might be navigating ADHD, autism, or similar neurodivergent patterns, start with your GP. They can refer you to a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. The public system is sometimes available, but often has long waitlists; private referrals are more accessible for most. Assessments involve interviews about your developmental history and standardised screening tools, often spanning childhood to adulthood.
Medication is one option, but even without diagnosis, occupational therapy, psychology, and supportive strategies can make a positive difference. Diagnosis isn’t just about ticking boxes - it’s about understanding yourself, your strengths and challenges, and building a support system that actually fits you.
Practical Tips for Neurodivergent Mums
- Plan postpartum with your neurotype in mind: Simplify routines, reduce commitments, and lower expectations. Less is more.
- Support sensory needs: Use noise-canceling headphones, adjust your home lighting, choose comfortable clothing, keep soothing items nearby.
- Externalize the mental load: Use central calendars, visual reminders, whiteboards, and outsource where possible.
- Set up support systems: Communicate your needs and boundaries with safe, supportive people (partners, family, or professionals).
- Learn your cues: Learn to recognise when you’re getting overwhelmed, irritable, or shutting down, and create action plans.
- Practice nervous system regulation: Daily breath work, gentle movement, grounding exercises, or connecting with others. Find what works for you (ideally before baby arrives).
- Compassion over perfection: Accept yourself and your needs - don’t compare to others or social media ideals.
You don’t need a diagnosis to seek support or strategies that make motherhood manageable. Perinatal OTs like Rachel Howe can help with anxiety, depression, trauma, and neurodivergent challenges - often via accessible telehealth appointments.
If you’re looking for more information, or would like to find out more about Rachel, you can find her at Belonging in Motherhood on instagram @belonginginmotherhood.
Motherhood is a sensory marathon and an identity transformation, especially for neurodivergent women. Understanding how your brain works - and embracing support - can help you move from surviving to thriving.
